Zoki Humor

I was looking at this picture the other day, and it got me thinking about the modern dating scene. It’s a jungle out there, people! And sometimes, you feel like you need a whole scuba suit just to navigate it. You see this woman here in the bikini? She’s clearly having a relaxing bath, right? Bubbles, a little face mask… living her best life. And then BAM! In waltzes… well, I don’t know what that is. Is that a scuba diver? Did they run out of towels and this was the only thing available? Maybe they’re trying a new extreme spa treatment: "Deep Sea Relaxation." I'm picturing them coming out of the bath and saying, "Honey, I feel so refreshed, I could explore the Mariana Trench!" But then you’ve got this other lady, the one with the killer dress and the even killerer stare. She’s like, "Get out! This is my tub!" She’s got that look like she’s about to drop a Yelp review that’s gonna sink this place faster than the Titanic. And the scuba diver… he’s just s...

So, I was walking down the street the other day, minding my own business, you know, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone who looked like they might ask me for directions. And I saw this guy. He was out there, in the blazing sun, sweating like he was in a sauna, pushing a lawnmower. You know the type, right? Overalls, a little hat, the whole nine yards. And I thought to myself, "Man, that's dedication. That's the American dream right there – a man, his lawnmower, and a whole lot of grass that refuses to stay down." But then, my eyes drifted upwards. Because, you know, that's what happens when you're a comedian – you're always scanning the room for material, or, in this case, the balcony. And there she was. Lounging, looking like she just stepped out of a swimsuit catalog, with… well, let's just say she had some impressive landscaping of her own going on up there. And I swear, for a split second, I saw the lawnmower guy's eyes widen. His grip on t...

So, I was looking at this cartoon the other day, and it got me thinking about gardening. Now, I'm not exactly a green thumb. My idea of "nurturing" a plant is giving it a stern talking to. My houseplants usually end up looking like they've been through a divorce and a bad haircut. But this cartoon, it’s got a gardener, right? And he’s got these HUGE shears, like he’s about to prune a redwood. He looks intense. You know the type. The kind of guy who color-codes his lawn gnomes. He’s probably got a spreadsheet for his petunias. And then, in the background, you’ve got this… vision. She’s watering some bushes, but let’s be honest, the bushes are not the main attraction here. She’s got… curves. And she’s in a bikini. In a garden. My wife saw it and said, "Is that a gardening bikini?" I said, "Honey, I don't think that's for gardening. I think that's for distracting the gardener." And then there's this little detail in the corner, a hand ...

  So, I was at the beach the other day, trying to get my tan on, you know, soaking up that vitamin D like a lizard on a hot rock. And I noticed something... the beach is basically a giant, open-air dating app, but with more sand and less swiping. You've got your classic archetypes, right? There's the guy who's clearly been working out since the last ice age, flexing in his speedo like he's auditioning for Baywatch. And then there's the woman, perfectly posed, sunglasses on, looking like she stepped out of a magazine. They're practically radiating "I'm available, and I'm fabulous." But then, you see the little cherubs, right? The winged babies with arrows. Apparently, Cupid's got a summer job at the beach, and his aim is… well, let's just say it's a little more chaotic than a toddler with a water gun. I saw this one guy, totally minding his own business, probably contemplating the existential dread of sand in his shorts. And BAM! Arr...

  You know, I was looking at this picture the other day, and it got me thinking about the modern dating scene. It's a jungle out there, isn't it? I mean, look at this. We've got a woman playing the accordion, which is already a bold choice, right? Who even owns an accordion anymore? I think my grandma has one in her attic, next to the lava lamp and the fondue set. And then, of course, there's the situation with her… undergarments. Let's just say she's really embracing the "business in the front, party in the back" philosophy, but instead of a mullet, it's… well, you see it. And look at the audience! These guys are fascinated. They're practically leaning in, like they're trying to get a better look at her… musical technique. I bet they're all thinking, "Wow, she's really pouring her heart into that song!" It reminds me of this one time I went to a talent show. I was trying to impress this girl I liked, so I decided to perfo...